Mein Kampf

Perhaps it is in bad taste to label a post with the infamous title of Hitler's manifesto. However, I find that the title aptly catches the nature of my month of June. The phrase means, simply, "My Struggle." My struggle for the month of June is the German language itself. That's right - it is not enough that we need to know Greek, Latin and French, but now they thrust upon me this most difficult of languages, a language that requires a gutteral spit every third word, a language that sounds best when spoken while pounding a table with a fist. There is nothing mystical about the language, as there was for me with Greek. There is nothing divine or classical about the language, as there was for me with Latin (or what I now refer to as our Lord's language). There is not even anything elegant or beautiful about the language, as there was for me with French. Its just a confusing, angry language where the verbs are, for some unknown reason, split up and most of them come at the end of the sentence! My apologies to German speakers. Ich bin traurig.

To top it all off, we are given only a month to learn enough to pass an efficiency exam. That means an hour and a half of class a day, four days a week, followed by a good five or six hours more of study a night. And even then one feels continuously behind. Mein Gott! Deutsch ist nicht gut! The situation is what my cousin Mark Farrell calls "the firehose experience." In other words, open your mouth wide because the water is coming at you full blast!

Some while back, a famous American writer catalogued his struggles with this peculiar language. Anyone who has tried to learn this language will be able to relate. The following is a great quote from "The Awful German Language" by Mark Twain:

"Surely there is not another language that is so slipshod and systemless, and so slippery and elusive to the grasp. One is washed about in it, hither and thither, in the most helpless way; and when at last he thinks he has captured a rule which offers firm ground to take a rest on amid the general rage and turmoil of the ten parts of speech, he turns over the page and reads, "Let the pupil make careful note of the following exceptions." He runs his eye down and finds that there are more exceptions to the rule than instances of it. So overboard he goes again, to hunt for another Ararat and find another quicksand. Such has been, and continues to be, my experience. Every time I think I have got one of these four confusing "cases" where I am master of it, a seemingly insignificant preposition intrudes itself into my sentence, clothed with an awful and unsuspected power, and crumbles the ground from under me."

Of course, he wrote the thing in German.